It's a little belated, to announce the news only now, on how I've gotten National Arts Council (NAC)'s support with the Arts Creation Fund on the Millie Project.
Who? me?
Recently, I'm "Lee Ju-Lyn (who) writes about how the imagination transforms reality. She is influenced by surrealism, existentialism, and Eastern philosophies. Her quirky and humourous style were likened to those of Murakami Haruki, Tim Burton, and Edward Lear. At present, her favourite writers are Milan Kundera and Akutagawa Ryunosuke."
I formally work in (i.e. receive CPF from) a corner of the public service, which I like being a part of for the idea of "serving the people (老百姓)" and from which I constantly day-dream about quitting to have more time to write more and better stories (I'd recently wonder if this might be a better way for me to serve the people).
So it's great, both in terms of receiving recognition of my potential (there must have been some serious literary people who saw the potential in my proposal), having been largely a self-taught fiction writer, and the opportunity to write something for the people. In that, being both a NAC grant recipient and public servant, I know that this is public service and I need to give it my best shot.
Now that i've committed myself, I must then try to forget the crushing sense of responsibility, other than holding onto the conclusion "i've gotta give it my best shot". Otherwise, I'd be paralysed by the sense of responsibility and fear of failure.
So, who am I? I am a person who has been given the much appreciated opportunity to write something.
Write what? The Millie Project?
That's my working title for now. I have a few titles.
It is a novella. About a girl, or woman, named Millie. Millie dreams, lucidly; as in, she is conscious in her dreams. And she got to know a guy, tentatively named Kwang Boon, or KB for short. Or rather, KB got to meet M. And she tells him about her dreams. And he writes the book, about her and her dreams.
I know my summary doesn't sound sexy. yet. It will, i think. When it comes to the point in time to make the summary sound sexy, I will worry about it. But now I have bigger things to worry about.
When? Jul 10?
I pitched the proposal in around Mar 10 (NAC submission deadline). The news came in around Jul 10, that I got it. Felt a bit blur for a while. Dunno what to do for a while. Got the contract, signed it, okay. Better start studying for a while. And have been studying since.
I only have about 1 year to complete the manuscript, including editing. So, it's really only about half a year. Can't start thinking about the time-line now i'd go crazy.
Where? on the blog?
I wanted to start blogging (it's really a blog blog) about this to update the people who want to be updated, and I want to develop ideas.
I'd be writing less regularly on meekfreak (so as to shore up the ideas - putting a dam and having a reservoir of ideas) - and in a way, blogging about Millie Project will be assuring my regular readers and supporters - whom are more commonly subscribing through facebook and readers - that I've not let go of myself. And I've taken my appreciation of your support and encouragement and I'm working hard.
As to where is my story? It's in my head. The big ideas, and the small ideas. I won't put up drafts on the net. But maybe some research questions and general progression. For now. See how.
Permit me to digress - Sometimes i realise, it takes me 1 hour to write a story, and then maybe half a day if i want to explain my story. Sometimes the idea of the story is best understood as a story, and not explained - if it could have been communicated better by explaining, then people shld be reading the explanation more than the story. It's perplexing. It's like, I can describe how to I char kway teow-ed, but never can my description replace the char kway teow itself - and you trying to understand my char kway teow vs understanding my description of a char kway teow are entirely different processes of understanding char kway teow altogether. my focus and priority should always remain on the char kway teow. So that even if you aren't a expert food taster, you can discern that it's good. If not good, then i'd have failed.
The story is set in Singapore. Because unlike my earlier (prior to 2008) works, I'm more ready to admit that I'm writing from my perspective. Of course, the grand hope is for the story to be universal. It's not written for a tourist, but can be understood by one. It's not a documentary. It's just a story (refer to Elif Shafak). I agree largely with what Elif Shafak articulated about setting, so I shan't spend time repeating or explaining how i've adapted it.
I concluded that I'm writing this story for my friends and their friends. Maybe this conclusion should be under the "Who?" and "why?". But nevermind la.
Why? Why write this novella?
So why write this novella? I should have an idea in my head why this story, but it's not firmed up. can't discuss it for now. until i'm more confident of it.
If this is too dismissive, there's a bit of "why" under the "who" section. I beg your pardon.
How?
I don't know how yet. Must study hard. And write hard. work hard.
Maybe I'm going to coup myself up - like a hermit - retreat into my own mind - try not to go crazy - then come up with something. That's what I'm thinking of, tentatively. difficult to juggle committments. priorities.
With your support, of course. and kind encouragement.
And hard work - good old hard work.
And Luck. Everything needs good old hard luck.
Wish me some!
After-note
After articulating the summary of the project. I'm underwhelmed by it. And feel that the rough idea or gist is stupid sounding. I am going to wallow around in a pool of wavering self-confidence and try to conclude that alice in wonderland also has a stupid gist of a story. Even better, that all gists of stories are stupid. sigh.
